Thursday, January 29, 2009

A Caveat

There is only one caveat in the world of the yardstick of happiness - no true authentic happiness can come at the expense of the world and those in it.

We are truly the top of the feeding chain - and with that comes some responsibility not to destroy the feeding chain.

Similarly - we are capable of being as authentic and enlightened among those around us or as reactive and unenlightened as we choose - here also we have a responsibility.

Giving and Taking in equal but balanced measure of the world and of those around us is the essence of contributing harmoniously.

Taking advantage of others or misusing the world around us will prevent us from finding our greatest happiness.

The 6th measurement of the happiness yardstick

The journey is long - in fact it takes a life time. We live this lifetime by being present in the now according to some authors - or at least we should be. I tend to agree with this - being clear that we belong in this time, at this moment, with this purpose and under these circumstances no matter what the ups and downs we may experience - this is part of understanding and having a sense of belonging - the 6th element.

For those who remember it - the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" was really all about this sense of belonging or lack thereof. If you never feel as if you belong, it becomes incredibly difficult to find satisfaction in the life you live. At the end of the day, there must be some sense of satisfaction for appreciation of the happiness we have to occur.

Number 5 - Happiness's Motivation & Drive

Don't underestimate those To Do lists. Each little accomplishment is no small contributor to your daily happiness. Whether a goal is large or small - the act of progress builds a powerful foundation for the 5th increment of happiness.

It is the breath that we take every morning, the stretch we take during the middle of the day, the hearty laughter we share with a friend late into the evening.

These are the measures of our progress and the source and continued power behind our happiness motivation.

4th Measure of Happiness

Short and to the point - the 4th measure of Happiness is Emotional Love. Don't doubt it for a second. There are far and away millions of people who are lost in the face of a lack of emotional love in their lives. But is it all about a intimate relationship with a significant other of a complimentary sex?

NO!

Emotional love is every small act, large act, amazing act and ordinary act where we show others that we care for them, about them, and with them.

Look closely inside yourself and you'll know who the people are in your life who give you emotional love conditionally vs. unconditionally - reservedly vs. unreservedly. It is terribly important though to recognize that the love of friends, family, coworkers and others - are very important balances against the rawness of intimate emotional love.

It is important to nurture all sorts of emotional love to balance and support happiness. :)

3rd Increment on the Yardstick

So, it's been a few months and the question is - has anything changed? Has the yardstick of happiness deviated even one iota - and I am here to tell you - after over a decade - the stick stands as is, with little or not alteration. Is there some overlap with Maslow? Sure - but need and happiness remain different.

So, what's the third bit? It's all about physical love - I mean - truthfully emotional is probably the next but if you were really to look at this yardstick you'd realize it's more of a hula hoop ;) Ok...so...to continue...

Physical love - does this mean sex? It's a big womping valuable bit, but it's not the key. Physical love goes well beyond sex - to all sorts of physical intimacy from a hug to a kiss to a handshake to a clap on the back.

Remember - just 'cause you aren't having sex, doesn't mean you aren't getting physical love. In fact - in some cases, people may get a whole lot more happiness out of a huge hug well composed than out of a whole lot of sex. Consider it...not saying not to go for broke and go for the "O" but...think about it.